Anyone that thinks lawyers, judges and court personnel are sitting around twiddling their thumbs should come on down to the courthouse in Polk County to see what goes on. As a lawyer doing mostly PI I'm used to being put on the back burner when it comes to court priorities, so some days we never get to the courthouse. But this week isn't a slow week for PI news. This week has some strange fact patterns that will certainly lead to legal work for some lawyers and judges in some unknown parts of the State of Iowa. As I wrote today's blog I ran across one story that got me thinking about what is going on at the University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics. I then got to thinking about how hard the judges work which led me to ask the question in the title. Today's PI stories each provides a different fact pattern from the PI world to wrestle with. Here ... take a walk with me and see if you think this stuff isn't strange and as you ponder each legal situation the answer should become obvious.

In Hopkinton (Delaware County) we have a 3-year-old getting mauled and killed by a set of Rottweiler’s.

In Ankeny we have four dogs dead and two people injured from dog attacks. The City of Hopkinton may now consider banning Rottweiler’s. It almost seems ironic that today is the day to register your “Beautiful Bulldog” at Drake University. See also 1 dog shot, 2 euthanized after fight.

In Bloomfield a 17-year-old teen slips on pond ice, falls in and drowns. See Bloomfield teenager drowns at pond. Then four people plunged into the Mississippi River at New Albin when the thin ice broke and in they went. According to the report no one was seriously injured. One was driving an ATV pulling a trailer with 3 people when it fell through the ice. All were able to get out of the water, build a fire on an island and avoid hypothermia.

Then we have a story about a man allegedly pulling a gun in a traffic dispute.

A story from Elgin about a 36-year-old woman accused of identity theft, using someone else’s name to obtain student loans; if true would be a felony with a five-year prison sentence.

The teachers’ union pres is reported to have been jailed for OWI. That isn’t going to help with the public’s perception.

A semi rolled at the mixmaster where I-80, I-235 and I-35 come together in West Des Moines. I’m through this segment on a weekly basis and it’s terrible. It’s an accident waiting to happen with everyone going straight, right and left trying to merge every which way. To roll a semi takes some effort.

The ISU football team players must be bored; two were arrested Saturday – one for OWI and the other for interfering with official acts. These two guys look like football players, too bad for the events. Come on boys hit the gym not the bars.

Then we have the lawsuit against the hospital in Fort Dodge filed by the deaf woman over sign language or the lack of someone to sign. That’s strange enough to be legitimate in a federal court. The federal courts hate PI, but love this kind of esoteric legal theory.

And speaking of strange fact patterns; what’s with the $75,000 settlement by the City of Mason City and a church in Mason City over allegations of name calling that allegedly led to an IRS audit? The legal theory appears from the news article to be one of defamation surrounding something the police said back in 2009.

The article titled “Where’s the beef?” comes to us from Melbourne, Iowa where 3/4rds of a ton of steak and assorted meats was stolen from Sedlacek’s Wholesale Meat Co. So just know if your friends invite you over for a series of really good barbecue’s you may be eating stolen meat.

A house fire in Grand Mound appears to be someone attempting to cover-up a double murder.

In Odebolt there is the very strange case of the bus driver, a student getting hit by the bus, the bus driver calling 911 and then allegedly continuing on her route or something like that. From this news report it’s impossible to know exactly what did happen, but it’s still a strange set of facts. Which judge will have to sort this mess out?

In the Iowa Legislature the focus is away from the obliteration of gays from planet-Iowa and towards the theft of copper and putting salvage dealers on notice they will not be allowed to fence stolen copper from urban mining. I have to wonder at what point farmer-politicians start to realize I can't plow a straight row and they can't practice part-time law in the legislature. Just because you don't like something doesn't mean there needs to be a law passed making it a crime; we already have enough laws on the books. We need more judges to administer those laws. Your passing crazy laws is like me planting flowers in your corn and bean fields just because I happen to like flowers.

In Sherrill a 2-year-old boy was killed as he ‘runs across the road’. The underlying question is: What pray-tell is a 2-year-old doing in the street?

Then in Mechanicsville two elderly people died after stopping their car on railroad tracks in front of an oncoming train.

A 15-year-old was shot and wounded at an eastside Des Moines park as he played basketball. He got shot in the knee. What are 15-year-old boys doing playing with guns? Here is the quote: “A group of young people were playing basketball in the park when an argument broke out. One boy pulled out a handgun, fired it into the air several times and then shot the victim in the leg. The suspect fled the park.” These boys need military service where respect would be drilled into them. The juvenile courts are overflowing and here comes another one. Never wonder why we have metal detectors at the courthouse in Polk County.

A Des Moines radio station probably needing publicity has invited Charlie Sheen to Lazerfest. See Lazer 103.3’s annual summer hard rock festival story. Do ya think if he comes there may be a few legal problems for us to handle?

At the U of I there is the $450,000 severance payment that drew attention away from administrative duties and … say what? Paid $450,000 for severance pay? Where do I sign up for that job? And people are worried about someone getting a few measly bucks for pain and suffering damages that go to pay the lawyers who do all the work and to bring them even, if you can ever get even after an accident.

One more thing, do we have any judges earning anything close to $450,000? I didn't think so. The judges get to manage every wack-job that comes into the courthouse from the jail for around $150,000 while sitting in a courthouse that was built centuries ago. Those modern conveniences include a place to tie up your horse. Meanwhile society pays a hospital administrator $450,000 to sit in a clean hospital, with it's own resteraunt and coffee shops to move paper and sort through doctor's crazy emails? Judges get metal detectors, handcuffed defendants strung out on meth, jailhouse court hearings, drunk drivers that kill, dog owners keeping viscious dogs in yards next to toddlers, kids playing basketball with handguns, the Charlies Sheen crowd gearing up for whatever nonsense they can dream up and for doing their job the judges get the opportunity to get thrown off the bench. Do I have that right? Judges get to sort out all of societies worse problems for peanuts along with the opportunity to get tossed and the U of I admin gets paid $450,000 just to leave town? How's that make any sense?

That’s enough for one day, but if you have some extra time why not come over to the jail for our coffee hour tour. I'm not sure they have a coffee shop though. See you tomorrow.